When you hear the big "C" word you have so many emotions. Fear, sadness, confusion and any other emotion you can think of. With me it was terror and my main concern was get the cancer out of my body and then we would deal with the after effects later. That is where I am today. It has not been an easy journey but one I am glad I took because it has made me the person I am today. The main thing is my relationship with God. I have always loved God but was always the type person who tried to solve everything on my own and not ask for His guidance. I am closer to Him today and I know that whatever happens He is always there even when it doesn't feel like it sometimes. I know this because He promises to never leave nor forsake me. I am not saying everything in my life is great but I know if I seek His plans for me I am where I need to be.
I also have different priorities. My family means the world to me and I have the most awesome husband, son, daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter I could ever be blessed with. My extended family is pretty great too. Then there is my family of chritian believers. How can I be more blessed than that?
It has taken me a long time to get where I am but I think I have grown alot in the last 5 years. In the past year with lots of prayers I know who I am... I am Betty and she has so many facets. Heir to the throne, wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend among a few. I am not a mistake, no one's tragedy and here because God put me here. I am loved. I am blessed. I am God's child. Even when people hurt me or let me down I know He will not.
Why am I telling you this? Because most people who have masectomy's and cancer treatment have low self-esteem sometimes. They no longer feel whole. Some people feel none of this. This is where reconstruction becomes a personal choice. For me it is finishing this chapter of my life so that a new one begins. I thank my friend Joyce for helping me realize this. I struggled with how to explain it and she helped put in prospective.
Today has been a decent day and I go back next week to have 2nd drain removed and injection. Yes it is painful but prayer sure does help ease it :)
Thanks so much for sharing. I have never had this experience and pray to God that I don't. However, my sister has been in remission now for 10 years. God is good. Taking her journey and yours makes me more appreciative of the life that I have. I am praying for you and continue to share as this is an inspiration to so many women. I love you and may God continue to bless you.
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